Hey friends! Show of hands: who is feeling sad? Or stressed? Or just... weird...?

As the world continues to turn there is a funny mix of feelings that seem to be churning up internally, is this your experience too?

Illustration by: Right Side Studios

For the first week the tightness in my chest made me uneasy until I realized it was from the pushups that I started doing the moment self-isolation was a thing (strange reaction- I know... my knee-jerk reaction to quarantine was to become G.I Jane. WTF???). My second realization was that I was wheezy from chasing kids around for a week- totally out-of-shape; hence the need to work out. And lastly, I realized (on maybe day 3) that I was feeling a hefty dose of chest-gripping grief. Grief for the tremendous amount of loss and sadness that people are grappling with. For those already in poverty, for the added strain on already stressed families and community systems. Not being able to really help and pitch in sends my soul into a spiral of sadness. I'm not really sure where to file that last one yet, it's a work in progress, but I think it helps to say out loud. I'm really sad. 

And if you are too, you're in good company. I think we're all processing layers of feelings that we maybe didn't realize we would or could have. But I'm not so sure it's all bad. An emotional reaction to what's happening around the world and right in our little spheres, is the right reaction. It's rough out there and in order to make it through, our hearts are going to have to be painfully open. Open hearts see needs, carry burdens, and help out neighbours. 

My kids are struggling with sadness too, so this week we continued to focus on positive activities. Last Saturday we, as a family, created a lip-syncing video for my niece's birthday; wanna have a little peekski?


An upside to this the forced isolation thing is that it has really pushed our sense of how to love people creatively. And I'm so into it! My brain is constantly working over ways we can love people from a safe distance, I'm grateful for the learning.

We also scrounged up $3 in dimes and nickles, washed them really well in soapy water, and tossed them onto a large grassy area for the kids to find. Who remembers finding money in the grass as a kid??? Magic. It's also a good homeschooling activity for younger kids who are learning about currency. Find it. Count it. Repeat.       

I spent one afternoon baking Amish Cinnamon Bread (which is a huge lie, it's cake. Fat-bottomed Amish cinnamon cake). This is a good recipe (find it here). Very few ingredients, simple to make, and great taste pay-off. Checks off all of my lazy baking boxes. I made one batch straight up and a second batch with a bunch of peeled and diced apples, both were good.

There is something so deeply nurturing in refined carbs and cinnamon. I'm not saying it's going to fix any problems but it it's definitely the food equivalent of a hug.

And yes, we got outside, it's not all tasty treats and crafty-craftersons around here. Highlights were the plasma car rally around the neighborhood *aside* this was not my weekly highlight, all I saw as I watched my two girls whipping down a hill on wheeled contraptions without breaks or helmets was a very loooong and ill-advised trip to the emerg... so we did it once. I'm not that cool. *end of aside*

I have to say, I do have a massive feeling of gratitude in my heart for the fact that we're heading into Spring and the weather has been temperate. It seems divinely loving that nature is now reminding us daily of new life, the rebirth of creation, even as we experience death and loss. Timely reminder as we head into Easter.

Keep safe friends. What were some ways you made it through last week?

Xo.

C.